In case there are cooks showing up here for actual food recipes or folks thinking they’ll learn how to bake a mental health issue, I’ll clarify a few things in this entry edition so you know what you’re getting into.
Why Existential Crisis?
In 2016, my last living grandparent died. About two months later, my mom died, and then about ten months after that, my sister also passed away. Best year ever, woohoo! Before that, I had experienced my stepfather, my aunt, two uncles, a neighbor, and too many friends all die way too young. This, of course, led me to develop healthy coping mechanisms, get into the best shape of my life, and find the true meaning of happiness. Lol, riiiiiiiight. More like I started drinking heavily to self-medicate, lost all sense of direction and purpose (not that I had much to begin with), and got a serious case of The Fuck It’s.
The cherry on top of that shit sandwich was being diagnosed with a rare neurological condition called Cervical Dystonia. Dystonia is not a country in Eastern Europe (you’re thinking of Estonia, which is in Northern Europe, by the way), but is instead a type of movement disorder that I like to call “baby Parkinson’s.” Dystonia can affect the whole body or only specific parts; mine causes a permanent cramp in my neck and what the doctors call a “yes, yes” tremor of my head (basically, I am a bobblehead doll without drugs). I was officially diagnosed in 2021 after being symptomatic for years, but had to wait on Covid to calm down before seeing the right people for it.
That lengthy explanation was a prelude to say 1) yes, it’s rare and annoying, but it could be much worse, and B) there was about a two year period where I thought I had a much more serious disease like actual Parkinson’s or MS. Point being, I thought I was also facing death just as I had seen others in my life do; luckily, I’m only dying at the normal human pace. The other point being that you don’t go through all of that without getting a change of perspective.
Suffice it to say, all of these things led me into a near-constant crisis of being, better known as - you guessed it - an existential crisis. I’m in a much better place today, but my experiences have left me perpetually curious about existentialism, the Meaning of Life™, and what the hell we’re supposed to do with the brief time we have here.
Oh, and I guess this is the important part - and the theme of this newsletter: because I’ve been mired in and fixated on this particular bit of psychology, I’ve observed that society is currently experiencing a collective existential crisis. More on that later, though (hint: you’ll need to subscribe to find out 😁).
What’s the Point?
Well, the point of this newsletter is to discuss existential crisis. Not in the clinical sense, though, because the DSM V doesn’t recognize it as a diagnosable mental health disorder. Instead, we’ll be focusing on what worldly phenomena may contribute to existential crises. All topics are on the table, though I’m guessing it’ll be slanted towards cultural, social, religious, and political issues with some business and tech sprinkled in. And yes, we’ll eventually cover “What’s the point?” in the philosophical sense.
The Format
Even though I’m calling this a cookbook, it’s more like an I want to compile an “ingredient list” of things that contribute to existential crises because, ya know, the recipe is the whole existential crisis bit. I also may have been hungry when I was thinking about it. And to further confuse you, I’ll be focusing on existential crises at the societal level instead of the individual level, but everything at the societal level will still be applicable at the individual level. That was clear, wasn’t it? Okay, great. And if it’s alright with you, let’s just start saying EC since I’m already annoyed with typing it out. Fantastic!
So, each edition will focus on one ingredient that seems to be contributing to our societal EC and whether or not Viagra can fix it. Err wait, that’s ED. Oops. I meant to say a look at societal EC and provide some thoughts on how we can address it. It all makes sense in my brain, but I do have a brain disease, so I guess we’ll see if it makes sense to anyone else 🤷♂️.
Anyways, here’s what you can generally expect:
What it is:
Thoughtful opinions and theories that are supported by facts, evidence, and science on why certain “ingredients” contribute to existential crisis
A journey of discovery and pursuit of curiosity based on my experiences and observations (for both of us)
Serious social commentary littered with bad humor, worse puns, and a fair amount of cynicism
Kinda-sorta optimistic, except when it comes to politics - we’re proper fucked on that front (I did warn you about the cynicism)
An attempt to shed light on some issues we need to deal with
Catharsis, if I’m being completely honest
What it’s not:
A professional diagnosis, medical advice, or therapy substitute
An exact formula (i.e., x + y = EC will never be universally true)
Religious gobbledygook, dogma, or parables
A meditation course (check out Waking Up for that)
The answer to the meaning of life, in case that needed to be said
Who am I?
I guess this is the section where I would list my credentials and such, but I must regretfully inform you that it ain’t me, babe. It ain’t me you’re looking for. And while I’m on the subject, I’m also not the droid you’re looking for. Uhh, wait. Where was I? Oh yes, who I am.
Well, I’m a consummate fuck up, a lifelong underachiever, and someone constantly wondering WTF I’m doing. My Twitter used to say “Software Engineer | Entrepreneur | Googly Eyes Advocate 👀,” but only one of those titles is currently relevant (hint: it’s the one that rhymes with schmadvocate). Though I guess there’s always the whole thing about how that kind of stuff stays with you. Meh. Oh, and FYI, I decided to delete my Twitter account because I felt that I Musk. Update: I did jump create a Threads, though, which I’ll get around to setting up at some point.
Okay, fine; I’ll be less self-deprecating… my listlessness and non-linear life trajectory is precisely what has led me to undertake this new journey. And maaayyybe my overpriced English degree.
The Sales Part
I claim to have a plan for this newsletter, but you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men… they’re cheesy. Or something like that. But anyhoo, the plan for now is to keep following existential rabbit holes and report my findings here. We’ll figure out the minutiae later.
If you’ve made it this far, WTF!? Go outside and get some sun! But seriously, if you’ve made it this far, you have my thanks. I hope you’ll subscribe and continue to tune in and see what kind of weird shit I get into - err, I mean to see what I find out along the way.
Cheers,
Jason